Tuesday, 28 June 2011

June 28

10 Habits of REALLY Emotionally Intelligent People

Emotionally intelligent people:

1.    Label feelings rather than people, making a distinction between what they think and what they feel.
2.    Own (take responsibility for) their own feelings and emotional reality. (Check in your body; where & what are your feelings?) Do not stuff or negate their emotions.
3.    Acknowledge when their negative emotions aren’t serving them & others and self-regulate to problem-solve whatever is causing the emotion, (use tension release processes and your breathing).
4.    Look for learning and growth in their negative emotions.
5.    Self-regulate to change unhelpful emotions into energized states (i.e. anger can become passion or drive to take action).
6.    Are respectful towards and validate other people’s feelings, regardless of what they think of them AND regardless of their age.
7.    Place their own agenda aside in order to step into someone else’s shoes, applying the resulting empathy, by communicating it or otherwise supporting the other person.
8.    Do not play the blame game (or send someone on a guilt-trip!)
9.    Limit judgement and criticism (aim for eliminating both) of others, and honor everyone’s unique path and emotional reality.
10.    Do not try to control or change others. (It ain’t possible.)

Happy Job Hunting!


L
en Grady
IT Project Manager, HRSDC

Cell: (613) 222-8162 | Office: (819) 956-9326
lgrady@rogers.com | http://visible.me/lengrady-ei
My profiles: Facebook LinkedIn about.me Blogger YouTube Twitter TypePad
Contact me: Skype lgrady

Monday, 27 June 2011

June 27

The following is taken from "The Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations Guidelines" ( www.eiconsortium.org ).

  Guidelines for Best Practice

The following 22 guidelines represent the best current knowledge about how to promote emotional intelligence in the workplace. They apply to any development effort in which social and emotional learning is a goal. This would include most management and executive development efforts as well as training in supervisory skills, diversity, teamwork, leadership, conflict management, stress management, sales, customer relations, etc.

These guidelines are based on an exhaustive review of the research literature in training and development, counseling and psychotherapy, and behavior change. The guidelines are additive and synergistic; to be effective, social and emotional learning experiences need not adhere to all of these guidelines, but the chances for success increase with each one that is followed.

The guidelines are divided into four phases that correspond to the four phases of the development process: preparation, training, transfer and maintenance, and evaluation.  Each phase is important.

These guidelines were developed for the Consortium by Daniel Goleman and Cary Cherniss, with the assistance of Kim Cowan, Rob Emmerling, and Mitchel Adler. If you are interested in the full technical report that includes all the supporting research for each guideline, you view the full technical report online or download the document in Word 6.0/95 format from. The address of the Consortium’s Web site is www.EIConsortium.org.

  Paving the Way
1. Assess the organization’s needs: Determine the competencies that are most critical for effective job performance in a particular type of job. In doing so, use a valid method, such as comparison of the behavioral events interviews of superior performers and average performers. Also make sure the competencies to be developed are congruent with the organization’s culture and overall strategy.

2. Assess the individual: This assessment should be based on the key competencies needed for a particular job, and the data should come from multiple sources using multiple methods to maximize credibility and validity.

3. Deliver assessments with care: Give the individual information on his/her strengths and weaknesses. In doing so, try to be accurate and clear. Also, allow plenty of time for the person to digest and integrate the information. Provide the feedback in a safe and supportive environment in order to minimize resistance and defensiveness. But also avoid making excuses or downplaying the seriousness of deficiencies.

4. Maximize learner choice: People are more motivated to change when they freely choose to do so. As much as possible, allow people to decide whether or not they will participate in the development process, and have them set the change goals themselves.

5. Encourage people to participate: People will be more likely to participate in development efforts if they perceive them to be worthwhile and effective.  Organizational policies and procedures should encourage people to participate in development activity, and supervisors should provide encouragement and the
necessary support. Motivation also will be enhanced if people trust the credibility of those who encourage them to undertake the training.

6. Link learning goals to personal values: People are most motivated to pursue change that fits with their values and hopes. If a change matters little to people, they won’t pursue it. Help people understand whether a given change fits with what matters most to them.

7. Adjust expectations: Build positive expectations by showing learners that social and emotional competence can be improved and that such improvement will lead to valued outcomes. Also, make sure that the learners have a realistic expectation of what the training process will involve.

8. Gauge readiness: Assess whether the individual is ready for training. If the person is not ready because of insufficient motivation or other reasons, make readiness the focus of intervention efforts.

  Doing the Work of Change
9. Foster a positive relationship between the trainers and learners: Trainers who are warm, genuine, and empathic are best able to engage the learners in the change process. Select trainers who have these qualities, and make sure that they use them when working with the learners.

10. Make change self-directed: Learning is more effective when people direct their own learning program, tailoring it to their unique needs and circumstances. In addition to allowing people to set their own learning goals, let them continue to be in charge of their learning throughout the program, and tailor the training approach to the individual’s learning style.

11. Set clear goals: People need to be clear about what the competence is, how to acquire it, and how to show it on the job. Spell out the specific behaviors and skills that make up the target competence.  Make sure that the goals are clear, specific, and optimally challenging.

12. Break goals into manageable steps: Change is more likely to occur if the change process is divided into manageable steps. Encourage both trainers and trainees to avoid being overly ambitious.

13. Provide opportunities to practice: Lasting change requires sustained practice on the job and elsewhere in life. An automatic habit is being unlearned and different responses are replacing it. Use naturally occurring opportunities for practice at work and in life. Encourage the trainees to try the new behaviors repeatedly and
consistently over a period of months.

14. Give performance feedback: Ongoing feedback encourages people and directs change. Provide focused and sustained feedback as the learners practice new behaviors. Make sure that supervisors, peers, friends, family members – or some combination of these – give periodic feedback on progress.

15. Rely on experiential methods: Active, concrete, experiential methods tend to work best for learning social and emotional competencies. Development activities that engage all the senses and that are dramatic and powerful can be especially effective.

16. Build in support: Change is facilitated through ongoing support of others who are going through similar changes (such as a support group). Programs should encourage the formation of groups where people give each other support throughout the change effort. Coaches and mentors also can be valuable in helping support the desired
change.

17. Use models: Use live or videotaped models that clearly show how the competency can be used in realistic situations. Encourage learners to study, analyze, and emulate the models.

18. Enhance insight: Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional and social competence. Help learners acquire greater understanding about how their thoughts, feelings, and behavior affect themselves and others.

19. Prevent relapse: Use relapse prevention, which helps people use lapses and mistakes as lessons to prepare themselves for further efforts.

  Encouraging Transfer and Maintenance of Change
20. Encourage use of skills on the job: Supervisors, peers, and subordinates should reinforce and reward learners for using their new skills on the job. Coaches and mentors also can serve this function. Also, provide prompts and cues, such as through periodic follow-ups. Change also is more likely to endure when high status
persons, such as supervisors and upper-level management model it.

21. Develop an organizational culture that supports learning: Change will be more enduring if the organization’s culture and tone support the change and offer a safe atmosphere for experimentation.

  Did It Work?  Evaluating Change
22. Evaluate: To see if the development effort has lasting effects, evaluate it. When possible, find unobtrusive measures of the competence or skill as shown on the job, before and after training and also at least two months later. One-year follow-ups also are highly desirable. In addition to charting progress on the acquisition of competencies, also assess the impact on important job-related outcomes, such as performance measures, and indicators of adjustment such as absenteeism, grievances, health status, etc.

Happy Job Hunting!


L
en Grady
IT Project Manager, HRSDC

Cell: (613) 222-8162 | Office: (819) 956-9326
lgrady@rogers.com | http://visible.me/lengrady-ei
My profiles: Facebook LinkedIn about.me Blogger YouTube Twitter TypePad
Contact me: Skype lgrady

Saturday, 18 June 2011

June 18

“No creature can fly with just one wing.
Gifted leadership occurs where head and heart – feeling and thought – meet.
These are the two wings that allow a leader to soar.”

- Daniel Goleman



Emotional Intelligence is the foundation that creates relationships that work!


Emotional Intelligence =
Awareness + Reflection + Insight + Skills in Action


Why do people who appear intelligent act in ways which contradict common sense and logic? recent psychological studies report that a strong IQ (Intelligent Quotient) does not translate to a sure indicator of success in life. Many would be surprised to learn that IQ makes up only a mere 20 percent of the success story. The overwhelming remaining 80 percent derives from many other causes, which psychologist Daniel Goleman called "Emotional Intelligence" or "Emotional Quotient" (EQ). This is good news as it means that EQ can be developed. What follows are some of the ingredients of EI or EQ.

Self-awareness: Implies the ability to recognize our own feelings. Increased awareness of one's feelings allows for better control over one's life. Take what we commonly call “gut feelings” that appear without you being consciously aware of them. Say, for example, someone says something really nasty to you; later in the day after the remark, someone actually points out to you that you're in a bad mood. However, when you "check your feelings", you are then in a position to adjust or modify them. Emotional self-awareness brings us one step closer to the major building block of emotional intelligence - the cability to throw off a bad mood.

Mood management: We must learn to find a balance between good and bad moods. Very often it is difficult to stay “in control” when we are swept by a strong feeling (e.g. anger). But we certainly can control how long that emotion or feeling will last. Most people find anger to be the mood that is hardest to deal with. Suppose you find a person driving recklessly, your reflexive reaction would be to get angry with that person, right? The more you curse, the angrier you get.

How can you "cool off"?. One myth is to give expression to anger. "Venting” or letting off steam would make you feel better. Actually, explosions of anger serve to only stimulate the brain’s arousal system leading to even more anger!

A smarter strategy is "refraining" which means seeing a situation in a more positive light. So, in the scenario of the rude driver, you might say to yourself, "maybe he was not a competent driver; he must have been in a rush."

Other anger-defusing strategies include hav
ing a time-out to calm down, going for some exercise, like a long walk. Whatever you do, don't drag things out by hanging onto these anger thoughts. Find a way to pull your mind and thoughts away from the anger. Remaining with your anger is ultimately self-destructive; by moving away from the anger, you are moving towards self-healing and, by extension, self-improvement.

Self-motivation: Find your inner power: the power what gives you power, drive, and freedom in life. What almost always makes the difference between success and failure in any field is the degree to which the individual is motivated to succeed. A positive attitude added to the capability to be self-motivated yields significant achievement - every time!

Impulse control: Self-discipline or the ability to deny oneself immediate gratification does not come easily to anyone. It also means exercising control of oneself towards attaining future goals, whether personal or professional. The significance of impulse control as a crucial element in the success formula was highlighted in an experiment at a pre-school class.

Children were promised a treat - a chocolate, immediately. If however, they waited until the teacher completed an experiment, they could have two bars of chocolate. As expected, some children grabbed the single chocolate immediately. A few however, preferred to wait until the teacher finished his work. To help them in their struggle, the children (who preferred to wait) distracted themselves by discussing with each other, and even covering their eyes. These smart ones finally got the double treat.

The follow-up of this study revealed that the children who as preschoolers were able to wait for the double treat, later as adolescents were still able to control themselves in pursuit of an aim. They were able to cope with frustrations and disappointments as adults. Besides they were more socially competent and self-assertive. In contrast, the other group adolescents were more likely to be stubborn, tense and indecisive.

We can improve our impulse control by practicing it at every available opportunity. When an impulse surfaces out of the blue to tempt you, remind yourself of your future goals. This should really help you avoid going for the single chocolate.

People skills: Being considerate of others' feelings is an important element in all relationships - at work, with friends and family are all excellent examples of this fact. Our unconscious is extremely adept at recognizing and communicating the cues behind the thoughts and feelings of others. Once we are more skilled at reading these cues, the more control we have over the signals we send to others. I once met a professor of behavioral sciences who said "A big part of ethics is fundamentally just other- regarding behavior". And that is precisely what etiquette is all about. If we don’t help our students get it right in the little things, they will never be in a position to get it right in the big things. We must teach them to be courteous, hoping this will help them to be moral.

Ethics is not primarily about the big things; it is not the sole preserve of mind-bending dilemmas and difficult cases. It is mostly about everyday matters like how we treat the people around us.

It has been found the average students in class were more successful in life than the academically brilliant. Obviously, academic excellence does not guarantee success in life. Emotional quotient too plays a part. To call oneself “educated” in the true sense of the term, calls for a union of the mind and heart. A touch of excellence in the quality of life we lead would make a difference between living life to the fullest, and merely existing.

Happy Job Hunting!


L
en Grady
IT Project Manager, HRSDC

Cell: (613) 222-8162 | Office: (819) 956-9326
lgrady@rogers.com | http://visible.me/lengrady-ei
My profiles: Facebook LinkedIn about.me Blogger YouTube Twitter TypePad
Contact me: Skype lgrady